Each week here at the Australian Writers’ Centre, we dissect and discuss, contort and retort, ask and gasp at the English language and all its rules, regulations and ridiculousness. It’s a celebration of language, masquerading as a passive-aggressive whinge about words and weirdness. This week, the golf war…
Q: Hi AWC, did you have a good holiday?
A: Lovely thanks. You?
Q: I played a lot of golf.
A: Oh, we didn’t realise you played.
Q: Very regularly!
A: You have a handicap then?
Q: I certainly do. Any hole with a windmill – I always struggle with those ones. Or a shortcut tunnel… I’m tempted every time, but end up missing.
A: Ahhh… gotcha. Miniature golf.
Q: Yep. Although today I actually have a golf question about the bigger, longer version of the game.
A: If it’s whether the 19th hole counts toward your score, the answer is no.
Q: Haha, not that.
A: If it’s related to tigers or woods, we’re also out.
Q: Don’t be silly. I want to know why golfers shout “FOUR!” when they hit the ball. Are they announcing how many shots they expect to take?
A: Well, no.
Q: Why then?
A: For starters, it’s actually “FORE!” they are shouting, not FOUR. And it’s to warn the players in front that they have hit a wayward shot and to look out.
Q: Ohhhh okay. But why “FORE!” and not “duck!” or “watch out!”??
A: No one’s entirely sure, but the most obvious theory is because “fore” means “in front of”. It’s a quick and easy way to warn the players up ahead.
Q: A form of “foreplay“, you might say? Hrrr hrrr hrrr.
A: Hilarious. Anyway, another theory is that it was called to warn the “forecaddie” – someone who used to be employed to walk up ahead and spot the ball, as golf balls were once a very expensive commodity to lose.
Q: It’s hard to lose them at my course. They’re usually fluorescent and stay within the side walls…
A: By the way, “caddie” comes from the French word “cadet” and can also be spelt “caddy”, although that spelling is usually reserved for a box/container like a “tea caddy”.
Q: Fascinating! What about the name “golf” itself? Isn’t it an acronym?
A: Nooo it’s not! The internet seems to have birthed this myth around 1997, spouting some silly Country Club nonsense that it stood for “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden”. It doesn’t.
Q: So where DID it come from then?
A: It seems to have entered English in the mid 1400s, arriving first in Scotland – famous for old golf courses like “St Andrews“ – originally as “gouf” and likely from an earlier Middle Dutch word “colf/colve” meaning: stick, club, bat. It was very much an elite sport until the 1800s, which is when the verb “golf” also first appeared. For example, “I golf with Charles and Camilla on Sundays”.
Q: Fascinating.
A: By the way, the term “golf widow” (a wife whose husband is always off golfing) might sound quite modern but was first termed all the way back in 1890! In fact a lot of golfing terms appear to have emerged in the 1890s.
Q: Such as?
A: “Par” for starters – your expected number of shots per hole – either 3, 4 or 5 shots. “Par” is the Latin for “equal”. If you are “one over par”, then you shot one more than expected and it’s called a “bogey”.
Q: Sounds green and disgusting.
A: Well you’re typically on the green when you get one and yes, they can be disgusting, depending on your skill level. You can also score a double- or triple-bogey if you’re two or three shots over.
Q: That’s one full handkerchief!
A: Indeed. In this context, it appears it has a popular British music-hall tune of the time to thank for its existence. The tune was “Hush, Here Comes the BogeyMan” – and it became a famous retort when trying to outplay a course’s “ground score” – the par. If you didn’t stay ahead of the par, the bogey man caught you!
Q: How utterly ridiculous!
A: It’s a ridiculous sport, after all. Meanwhile, if you score one BETTER than par, you are said to have scored a “birdie”.
Q: Ah yes, so what’s the story with that? Another hit on the 1890s mixtape?
A: Haha, no. In fact, from here we get a bit later and a lot more American with our etymologies. The name “birdie” originated around 1903, originally as “bird” – which had been around in American slang since the 1830s as meaning “exceptionally clever or accomplished”.
Q: It is rather clever if you get a birdie.
A: So, do you know what two shots under par is called?
Q: Easy. A double birdie!
A: No, that would be too obvious. Unlike the bogeys, where you want to forget they ever happened, these achievements were worth bragging at the 19th hole (the clubhouse bar) about – so each gets a unique name.
Q: Is there at least some kind of theme?
A: There is indeed. It’s all about birds! Two under par is called an “eagle” – that most majestic of birds, soaring through the air like a well-struck golf ball, before swooping down to its prey (preferably near the flag). It dates from 1908 and seems to be simply because it soars higher than a birdie.
Q: Wait, isn’t an eagle a type of birdie?
A: Don’t overthink it. By the way, both of these are credited to an Atlantic City golfer named AB Smith.
Q: AB Smith? Sounds like they just made up the first name they could think of! Did he take credit for “three under par” also?
A: He did not. This rare feat is known as an “albatross”. Originally it was called a “double eagle” but that became a little confusing, so the British coined the term in the late 1910s, perhaps because seeing an albatross is quite rare – just like hitting 3-under-par!
Q: Intriguing! So what do you call it if you get it in the hole in one shot?
A: A “hole in one“.
Q: Yeah, that. What do you call it?
A: You call it a “hole in one“!
Q: Oh. Okay, that’s simple.
A: Apparently, according to America’s National Hole-in-One Registry (yes, it’s a real thing!), the chances of hitting a hole in one are 1 in 12500.
Q: The poor golfer who had to calculate that!
A: Haha.
Q: At my golf course, if you get a hole in one on the 18th hole, you get a voucher for a free ice-cream and a round of laser-tag.
A: Yeah, that’s probably not happening at St Andrews…
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